How Can I Balance Creativity and New Motherhood?

Coming into New Motherhood as a Writer and Creative

As some of you might know, I am expecting our second baby in the depths of this forthcoming winter.

For context, here is a quick recap of what happened to my creativity after becoming a new mother to our first baby:

• I gave up.

That is right. When I first came into my motherhood almost three years ago, I felt like I had to completely abandon my writing, as I found I never had the time to write. Even during naps, I was so exhausted, all I could do was lay on the couch and watch a show.

That is why, even though I look forward to welcoming another little one into our hearts and home in the Danish countryside, I am also afraid, dreading actually, what it will have of consequences for my creativity and writing.

As you might have already have picked up on, I could not keep away from writing after that first year of giving up. Slowly I gained more energy during the days, and the will to write came back. At first it was just in small glimpses, that I would brush away, but later on it became stronger and stronger.

This autumn feels like the culmination of the creative journey I have been on since becoming a mother for the first time. I still am a stay-at-home-mother to my now two and a half year old daughter, but I am also a a creative person, a visual stroyteller and a writer.

My little corner in our living room. From where I write my morning pages.

I write my three morning pages each morning when my child is still sleeping or watching a show. I write this weekly Substack newsletter in the evenings when she has fallen asleep for the night, and I also film, edit and publish two Youtube videos a month from our homestead.

Honestly, I have never felt more creatively satisfied and proud of myself, than I have done this autumn.

So what has shifted since giving up to coming in to creative fullfilment?

Of course it becomes easier to take care of my child as she becomes older and I become more and more experienced in my motherhood, but I think the main reason has been the mindset shift that I’ve had, especially in this autumn, while working my way through the infamous The Artists Way by Julia Cameron.

You see, I used to believe that motherhood and my creativity were in opposition to eachother. That being creative and taking time to write meant that I would somehow be “less of a mother”.

But in my own experience, this believe have turned out to be utter falsehood.

Sure, sometimes I still feel the urge to wish for more time to write and be creative, but in reality I have never been more creative than I have been while also taking care of my child in the meantime.

I think: “If only I had so and so much time during the days, I could really feel like an accomplished creative person.”

The truth is, though, I used to have so much time in my day, endless hours, and yes, I would write in my journal a bit, but I would mostly just lay on the couch and watch a show. Even with all the time in the world, I was not as creative as I have been while also being a mother.

What that first year of motherhood taught me was that I can do much more than I think I am capable of. I can work continuously with taking care of my child, and what actually helps me the most in this work, is working on some small creative thing or doing housework whilst taking care of her.

There is nothing like taking all the puzzle pieces out of her many puzzles so she can use a good 20 minutes in collecting them all again, while I do the dishes or take the trash out or knit. Or to write, like I do now, in the wee morning hours with the knowledge that she might wake any minute now, and I will have to stop or at least pause my writing.

There is really nothing that gets you writing as fast and focused, as the knowledge that your child may interrupt you anytime.

At the same time, taking care of my child at home is what enables me to be creative throughout the day. We bake, I knit, we sing, I write and we draw. All things I would not be able to do throughout the day if I had a regular 9-5 job.

What I found out, then, was that motherhood and my creativity was not in opposition to eachother, but instead enabled and reinforced each other.

By taking some time to practice my creativity throughout the day, I was better equipped to take care of my child too. I was more steady and less irritable, as she was, in my head, no longer “keeping me away from my creativity”, but instead allowing and reinforcing it.

Simply put, practicing my own creativity made me better and more patient mother to my child.

Still, I have fear for how having a new baby will challenge this. I know now how I can take care of a child and my creativity at the same time, but a baby is so more work. They sleep more, yes, but its an irregular sleep pattern, unpredictable, and it wears you out to be awake so many times at night.

In one my most recent post, I shared that for that first year of my motherhood, I never dreamed during the nights, because I would simply never enter that state of deep sleep that allows for dreaming.

And if I cannot dream, how can I then write?

I still have not found a complete answer, and I guess I will only really know when the baby comes.

However, I have tried to prepare myself the best I can. Even though it seems like I have catapulted my creativity this autumn, I have also said goodbye to many dreams and projects. I have tried my best to focus on the project that gave me the most joy, and I have completely cut of the rest. For example I deleted my Instagram account of five years and with it a dream of sewing and publishing my own books.

I know I will have to scale down further, so I have done my best to prepare newsletters and videos ahead. That is why, you might notice an increase in chapters of Home by the Beech Trees - Our First Year at Baggebo Homestead in the new year as that is the only kind of newsletter I can really write ahead.

But as far as practicing my creativity when the baby gets here, it feels like everything is up in the air as we do not know what kind of baby we will have.

However, I do know this:

This time, I am determined to not give up on my creativity and writing.

In my forthcoming motherhood of two, I want to give myself grace for being tired, but I will also know that writing helps me in my motherhood - sometimes even more than sleeping does. It helps me collect my thoughts, check in with myself, and most importantly:

Writing gets me dreaming, even when the lack of deep sleep and interrupted sleep pattern of new motherhoood does not.

---

---

What to read next?

---