Spring is at Our Door
The Long Awaited Arrival of Spring at Our Danish Homestead
This winter has left us with our hands full. We welcomed our son in the beginning of January, and Herluf quickly returned to work after a short paternity leave.
As we are currently saving up for a new heat source and insulation in the house, we could not afford for him to stay home for any longer.
Between taking care of our newborn son, and our 2 year old daughter at home, a full-time job, keeping the fire going in a 25 year old masonry oven, general housekeeping, and cooking, we have held on to much, and honestly probably a bit too much.
Herluf looked at me just the other day, as we cleaned the dishes late in the night when both children were finally asleep, and said:
“This is not working. We are falling apart.”
We had just been talking about how the house desperately needed a spring cleaning, but trying to schedule time for it during the week had appeared to be an impossible task.
He was right. More and more his work at his job was showing signs of fatigue. Mistakes and forgetfulness. I would feel stress-related stomach pains in the morning, when I knew, I had to take care of both children alone, without Herluf home.
It’s a less than ideal set-up, but for some time yet, this is the situation we find ourselves in.
“We have to hold out,” I said. “Just a little longer now.”
I’ve felt it for some weeks now. There is something coming. A sprinkle of light on my writing desk when the sun shines in through the windows. Warmth in my face when I am walking in the woods with my baby in the pram. And the birds, the birds are singing in the cottage garden once again.
Spring is on its way.
It won’t be long now before the firing season is over. It won’t be long before our 2 year old turns 3 and begins kindergarten. It won’t be long now till the baby’s naps is more predictable.
Just a little longer.
On the first day of March I heard a knock on the door. It was one of those days where I was crouched over the endless pile of laundry after putting the baby to sleep. Herluf and our daughter had gone into the city to do grocery shopping.
I answered the door, opened it up to the sight of pink tulips. It was my mother, coming for a visit. I greeted her at the door, and when the baby soon awoke, she took him up instead of me, and I was able to finish the laundry and put the tulips in water.
When Herluf and our daughter returned, my mother played with her and entertained her, and Herluf was able to get in some good hours on work.
“Is there anything you would like me to do, Anne?” she asked when Herluf was done working. My pride wanted to tell her no. I wanted to have everything under control. But nothing was under my control, and there was no way I could hide the fact.
My shirt was buttoned wrong after the last feeding, and I hadn’t been able to brush my hair for the day. I didn’t need time to look myself in the mirror, but I knew I must have looked like a mess.
“We had been talking about doing a spring cleaning,” I told her reluctantly. And so, she pulled out the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed. She asked for a bucket and a cloth and cleaned the floors. She opened up the windows for the fresh air of March.
Spring had come in the form of my own sweet mother. She was a warmth and a light, when we needed it the most.
I was able to brush out my hair that day, and button my shirt properly. At some point I even sat down with a warm cup of coffee and just was, while my mother cleaned my house. The audacity, right?
The truth is, though, that this is the only way we are going to get through this period in our lives. By greeting and accepting the help at our door.
Whether it’s my mother-in-law picking up our daughter to care for her two times a week, my own mother coming for spring cleaning, or a longtime friend coming to enjoy a cup of coffee with us.
Warmth, light and kindness is here, if only we can lay down our pride and accept the help at hand.
Spring has arrived.
Anne, you are so blessed to have the help of your dear mother during your time of recuperation after childhood. I was on my own after the birth of our children. Of course my husband was there in the evenings after work but I was on my own during the day however, that was kind of the norm at that time. And I am grateful that I didn't have social media then because I might have thought that I was a failure and should have been able to "do it all" like the influencers online. But actually it is normal to struggle in motherhood especially as a new mother. So try to relax and enjoy your babies while they are still with you, they really do grow up so fast!
Oh Anne, this chapter is so special. This part really touches deep:
“Spring had come in the form of my own sweet mother. She was a warmth and a light, when we needed it the most.”
I agree, we should all be helping each other. By nature, we are not meant to raise families alone, especially when children are so small. As the saying goes, “it takes a village to raise a child”. This was literally so before.
Why don’t we all continue living closer geographically and in our hearts.
I look forward to the next chapter. Whenever you have time, energy and inspiration for it. I love that you are not rushing it all ❤️